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Post #2309012 Author: Robert Ott Posted: September 15, 2023 Is there anyone who can honestly say relationships are easy? If so, then God bless you. You are definitely not the norm. Real relationships inherently always ask for love, attention, honesty, affection, caring, patience, and understanding. Why is it so difficult for you and other people in a real relationship to provide these attributes to the other person? A primary reason is each person brings into the relationship their own personal positive and negative baggage. And that baggage does not always complement the other person’s baggage. This baggage refers to a variety of experiences, emotions, and memories that you carry with you throughout your life. It may encompass positive experiences, learned lessons, and personal strengths that you have developed over time. For example, you may have overcome adversity or faced and conquered challenges and carry the positive baggage of resilience, determination, and wisdom gained from those experiences. On the negative side, this includes experiences, traumas, or unresolved issues that may have a negative impact on your well-being or relationships. Examples could be past abusive relationships, childhood trauma, unresolved grief, or addiction issues. Some of the ways in which this baggage is manifested are: Inability to express your thoughts and feelings which can lead to misunderstandings. Difficulty in resolving conflict which can strain even the best of relationships. Lack of boundaries can lead to codependency or feelings of being overwhelmed. Unrealistic expectations of that “perfect relationship” can lead to much disappointment. Any one of these can be difficult, but collectively, they are exponential. Negative personal baggage can weigh you down and hinder your growth and happiness. Divine Yearning for Profound Connection When God created the earth and everything on it, everything below and everything above, He set in motion a dynamic that is directly modeled on the essence of God in Christianity—their relationship, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. With that, He established the ability for mankind to have a personal relationship with the God of the universe. That divine “relationship dynamic” defines our human relationships that ask for love, attention, honesty, affection, caring, patience, and understanding; God for us and us for God. In Genesis 1:26 it says: Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us.” and it continues all the way through the Bible to Revelation 22:21 May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s holy people. That is profound! Here’s the difference, though, in God’s relationship with us, and the relationship we have with Him. On God’s side, it is perfect. He has none of the difficulties stated earlier. On our side, we have all of them. So, logically, who are the ones causing the problems? It’s us! We bring ALL of our difficult “baggage” into our relationship with God. And we react with God, relationally through our baggage, the very same way we react with people with whom we have relationships here on earth. How does God react to us, our issues and our reactions? He loves us anyhow. Nothing about us is hidden from Him, yet He is abounding in steadfast love. We should be amazed. Author Elizabeth Gilbert puts it this way: “To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—can border on miraculous.” And that is exactly what it is. We are fully seen and “loved anyhow” by God! Let’s unpack Gilbert’s quote just a little, but through the lens of the gospel. To be fully seen by somebody emphasizes the idea of being truly understood and recognized for who we are, with all of our flaws, vulnerabilities, and complexities. It’s about being transparent and authentic with God. And be loved anyhow , expresses that despite all of our imperfections, God loves us unconditionally. He accepts us for who we are without judgment or reservation. This is an offering that can border on miraculous . Being loved anyhow is a remarkable gift that God gives us. This gift highlights the rarity and value of such deep emotional connection and the transformative effect on each person. God’s gift flows from His divine yearning for profound connection. Living-Out Our Relationship with God This loving relationship is never given by God expecting anything in return. It is unconditional. But your changed life in conformity to the image of His Son Jesus, is your thank-you to Him for His gift. This is what I call living-out our relationship. I believe there are three primary tenets of this thank-you to God. They are:
Post #2308011 Author: Robert Ott Posted: August 25, 2023
Post #2307010 Author: Robert Ott Posted: July 12, 2023
Post #2306009 Author: Robert Ott Posted: June 28, 2023 If there is any doubt today that young people (Gen Zs 18-25) are struggling with a lack of purpose and meaning in their lives, look at the results of this study performed in 2022.
Post # 2306008 Author: Robert Ott Posted: June 12, 2023 In September of 1989 I was on a business trip in Jacksonville, Florida. Hurricane Hugo was barreling up the east coast toward North Carolina and the whole coastal area was under an evacuation warning. I have never been an alarmist and usually have the attitude that everything will turn out fine. I lived in Florida when I was a child and had experienced strong storms and even a hurricane. I was not a novice. But this was different. When I was leaving the oceanfront hotel and storing my luggage in the rental car, I noticed that everything was eerily quiet. There were no cars, no people, no squawking seagulls in the sky. There was no sound of rustling palm fronds, no wind or breeze, just perfect stillness. I glanced back over my shoulder and looked toward the ocean. What I saw was the most ominous black sky I had ever seen. It was frightening.
Post #2306007 Author: Bob Russell, former Senior Pastor of Southeast Christian Church Posted June 5, 2023 This is the fourth and final blog post by Bob Russell. It is primarily a letter that comes from his heart to the young people who have left their faith in Jesus and turned instead to what the world offers. Before you read this post I want to make sure there is understanding of the description of a “prodigal.” The term prodigal typically refers to someone who has left their home and rejected their family's or maybe their own personal values; and with reckless behavior, wastes their resources, talents and opportunities they have been given, and fail to achieve what might have been. While you may not have left home and become a "prodigal" it is very possible you know someone who has, or you may know a person someday. Caring for a friend or family member who has turned their back on the faith of their family or their own is an act of compassion, empathy and kindness. Your support, guidance and prayer for them can have a significant impact on their life and the lives of those around them. Please, Dear Prodigal, Return to the Faith of Your Fathers - Part 4 Written by Bob Russell, December 18, 2022 (Posted with Bob's permission) In my recent three-part series of blog posts, “ Leaving the Faith of Their Fathers, ” I discussed how parents and grandparents grieve over their prodigals — children who have grown up in the church but, as adults, no longer share their Biblical values. Yet I cannot leave the subject without addressing the prodigal children themselves. Most prodigals suggest their parents or their church are to blame for their defection. Others claim intellectual doubt. However, in reality, most are like a man in the New Testament named Demas, who the Apostle Paul describes as a “fellow worker” in ministry with him. Yet Paul later writes that Demas left the faith because he “loved this present world” ( 2 Timothy 4:10 NASB ). Indeed, this is simply the case for most prodigals. Their love of the pleasures of the world has drawn them away from the faith of their fathers. While it is unlikely that most prodigals will read this post, I write it in hopes that even one with a softening heart may be willing to hear the pleas, repent, and return to the God of their fathers. Dear prodigal, Please set aside your differences to thoughtfully consider why your parents are so heartbroken. Your parents are not perfect. None of us are. But chances are they love you more than anyone else in the world. So, whether you are intentionally trying to hurt them or just being selfishly ambivalent to their concerns, they do not deserve the agony your spiritual defiance is causing. Despite their flaws, there is one perfect Father who loved you enough to sacrifice his son for your eternal salvation. Your parents are heartbroken because they fear your rejection of God will destroy you for eternity and keep you from a wonderful relationship with them in Heaven. Hell is certain for those who reject God . I am not going to sugarcoat it. You will die one day. It is certain. There is no escaping it. Worse, God’s judgment and the punishment of Hell is also certain for the unbeliever. So please don’t be flippant. Hell is not to be laughed off as a giant party or a place you can mingle with worldly friends. Jesus explicitly warned several times that those who reject Him will be cast into fiery darkness where there will be “weeping and gnashing of teeth” (see Luke 13:28 ). That does not make God unloving. Rather, it is by His love that His justice abolishes sin and evil to make all things new and pure for the believer in eternity. Perhaps you think that once you accepted Christ, you were saved regardless of how you lived or what you believed from that point on. However, the Bible warns us: “By this gospel, you are saved IF you hold firmly to the word I have preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain” ( 1 Corinthians 15:2 ). “… if we disown him, he will also disown us” ( 2 Timothy 2:12 ). “If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and are overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning” ( 2 Peter 2:20 ). While you may think you have plenty of time, there is no promise you will live until old age. Death may come at any time without warning. While you may be lucky enough to live a long life, your heart becomes more calloused with every passing day, and repentance will be increasingly difficult. Therefore, I plead with you to consider that your defiant rejection of God is a dangerous bet against the punishment of Hell. However, for those who believe there is the magnificent promise of escaping the punishment of Hell and spending eternity in Heaven. Jesus assures us. “ I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die” ( John 11:25 ). That is not wishful speculation. It is a proven demonstration. Jesus conquered the grave and promised, “ Because I live, you also will live” ( John 14:19 ). The Bible describes a grand reunion in Heaven called the “Marriage Supper of the Lamb,” where we will enjoy fellowship with our loved ones in Christ, worship God, and rejoice in His grace forever. “ No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him ” ( 1 Corinthians 2:9 GW ). This is why your parents fervently pray that their family’s spiritual circle be unbroken for eternity. They want you there! God promises He is making “all things new” for us in Heaven (see Revelation 21:5 ). This means what may have been an imperfect relationship with your family on earth will be a new, wonderful relationship with them in Heaven! Do not miss that exciting reunion! Do not miss it for the world! In the final book of the Bible, Jesus makes this straightforward appeal to prodigals, “ Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place” ( Revelation 2:4-5 ). After the prodigal son wasted his entire inheritance in wild living, he wound up at rock bottom…feeding pigs on a farm. He suddenly realized he was totally wrong, repented of his sin, returned humbly to his dad, and begged for forgiveness. His gracious father embraced him and immediately restored him to the family. He called everyone within shouting distance, “ Let’s have a feast and celebrate! For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found! ” ( Luke 15:23-24 ). So, please, dear prodigal, “ Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts [as in the rebellion] ” ( Psalm 95:7 ). Heed these words and return now to the faith of your fathers. Your parents desperately need you now. Your children need your Godly influence now. The church, the family of God, needs you now. And the world needs your Godly impact now. “ I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation ” ( 2 Corinthians 6:2 ). Your Heavenly Father is waiting now on the front porch, eager to race to you and welcome you back home. So are the rest of us. – Bob
Post #2305006 Author: Bob Russell, former Senior Pastor of Southeast Christian Church Posted May 29, 2023 This post is the third of four written by Bob Russell that comes from his heart to the young people who have left their faith in Jesus and turned instead to what the world offers. Before you read this post I want to make sure there is understanding of the description of a “prodigal.” The term prodigal typically refers to someone who has left their home and rejected their family's or maybe their own personal values; and with reckless behavior, wastes their resources, talents and opportunities they have been given, and fail to achieve what might have been. While you may not have left home and become a "prodigal" it is very possible you know someone who has, or you may know a person someday. Caring for a friend or family member who has turned their back on the faith of their family or their own is an act of compassion, empathy and kindness. Your support, guidance and prayer for them can have a significant impact on their life and the lives of those around them. Leaving the Faith of Their Fathers – Part 3 Written by Bob Russell, December 11, 2022 (Posted with Bob's permission) As discussed in the first two posts of this three-part series, Christian parents and grandparents grieve over children who have grown up in the church but, as adults, no longer share their Biblical values. Concerned not only about their salvation, these parents and grandparents are also distressed that the opposing worldviews impede meaningful relationships with their children and grandchildren. To correct a problem, it is important first to identify and determine its cause. And just as there are multiple causes for children to leave the faith, there are multiple approaches parents and grandparents can take to address the issue. Understand, however, that what may work in one situation may not be effective in another. So prayerfully consider the approaches below to seek God’s wisdom and guidance for your situation. 1. Examine yourself . Jesus instructed us to remove the log from our own eye before taking the speck out of someone else’s eye. No parent is perfect, so repent of your own sins and, as much as possible, defuse the counter charge of hypocrisy. God promises, “Blessings crown the head of the righteous” (Proverbs 10:6) . 2. Keep praying for your child . Don’t give up. No matter how far they have wandered away, pray without ceasing. Ask others to pray with you. I have friends who pray, “Lord, we plead with you that the circle of our family will be unbroken in eternity. Whatever it takes, even if it involves heartache, bring something into our son’s life that will motivate him to repent and return to you.” Claim the promise in Hosea 14:4 for your child, “I will heal their waywardness and love them freely, for my anger has turned away from them.” 3. Avoid arguments. Heated arguments result in disagreeing children stubbornly digging their heels deeper in opposition. That means they will need to swallow even more pride before returning. While they may claim doubt, the real cause is not intellectual doubt. It is sinful pride. Don’t spend a lot of time arguing over the Bible or giving an apologetic for faith. When the conversation gets intense, bite your tongue and quietly back off. Consider giving them Lee Strobel’s book, “A Case for Christ,” or “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis, and let it go at that. They may think they are smarter than you, but they are not smarter than C.S. Lewis. 4. Write a letter explaining your concerns. You worry that they do not understand the eternal and earthly consequences of their behavior. Instead of constantly rehashing the same issues and making everyone miserable again, write a carefully crafted, loving letter expressing your convictions. Take your time. Apologize for your own mistakes. Make it clear that while you will avoid continuing to address the issue in the future, your concerns remain. 5. Don’t waiver on your beliefs. Sadly, this is a real temptation for many parents. Their children may argue that the parents are the problem and that the parents need to stop being so rigid. Consequently, parents often yield and compromise their core beliefs to avoid ongoing conflict. For instance, while they have always believed it was wrong for couples to cohabitate before marriage, they back down and reason, “Times have changed. When he brings his live-in girlfriend home, we let them sleep in the same room. They do it at their home anyway.” The Lord warned that families would divide because of Him (see Matthew 10:21 ) . Parents, do not waiver. Instead, “stand firm in the faith. ” Your children need to see your primary allegiance is to Christ – not to them. They need a positive example of faith, not another endorsement of their rebellion. 6. “Be joyful in all circumstances.” It has been said, “You are as happy as your most unhappy child.” Do not let that be true for you. While you are disappointed in your child, do not let their spiritual insubordination make your life miserable and everyone else in your inner circle. Your identity — your joy — is in Christ, not your prodigal child. So “Rejoice always” ( 1 Thessalonians 5:16 ). Life goes on. 7. If possible, maintain a united front with the rest of the family. Siblings and family members need to be on the same page. Grandparents, this means you! Our culture says it is time for you to take it easy and enjoy spoiling your grandchildren. However, scripture says grandparents are called to a greater level of influence, to “ Teach them to your children and to their children after them ” ( Deuteronomy 4:9 ). Support the parent’s efforts to discipline your grandchildren. 8. Release them to God and wait patiently. When someone you love drifts away, the first inclination is to chase after them. However, when you grovel before them, they experience no distance – no discomfort — in the relationship and may feel more empowered. The father of the prodigal son didn’t chase after his son and drag him home against his will. Even when the boy was in the pigpen, the dad waited for him to come to his senses. “ The Lord disciplines the one he loves ” ( Hebrews 12:6 ). God will humble and chasten your child in His time. Don’t usurp God’s role. Trust Him. 9. Write a letter to be given to them upon your death. Make one final appeal. They will read a letter from you when you die. Reaffirm your love for them. Keep it short and heartfelt, but remind them Christ died for them and is eager to forgive and restore them. 10. Above all else, love them. Without endorsing behavior or enabling addiction, lovingly reach out with texts, emails, phone calls, and visits. Give generously at Christmas and birthdays. Provide help when needed. “ Love covers a multitude of sins” (See 1 Peter 4:8 ) . Remind them they are loved even though you disagree with their life choices. 11. At times, you may need to practice tough love. The Bible teaches that when fellow believers are living in flagrant sin, they are first to be confronted individually. If they do not listen, then confront them with others. If they still refuse to listen, believers are to withdraw fellowship from them ( see Matthew 18:15-17 and 1 Corinthians 5 ). The purpose is to motivate repentance. So, if they use your money to support an addiction, stop helping them financially. Do not enable their decadence. It is not loving when you help them to be comfortable in their sin. You should also reduce the amount of contact and time they spend with their younger siblings, who can be negatively influenced. In extreme cases, it may be prudent to cut them out of the will, but you should explain why. They must understand that while you are brokenhearted over their rebellion, you intend to move on without them until they repent. Otherwise, you are decreasing the likelihood of repentance and increasing the risk of disaster. 12. Keep vigil on the front porch and be eager to welcome them home. Live in expectation. The father of the prodigal son saw the boy stumbling down the lane when “he was a long way off.” Apparently, the father was on the front porch every day, watching and anticipating. When genuine repentance occurs, forgive and restore completely. Do not hold grudges. The prodigal’s father did not demand his son wallow in the dirt, repay what he had spent, or explain why he rebelled. Instead, “ Forgive one another, just as in Christ, God has forgiven you” ( Ephesians 4:32 ). I have seen dramatic transformations in young lives. Children lost in sin were found, and others who were spiritually dead came back to life. Families that were once divided are now reunited. So, “ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” ( Galatians 6:9 ).
Post #2305005 Author: Bob Russell, former Senior Pastor of Southeast Christian Church Posted May 22, 2023 This post is the second of four written by Bob Russell that comes from his heart to the young people who have left their faith in Jesus and turned instead to what the world offers. Before you read this post I want to make sure there is understanding of the description of a “prodigal.” The term prodigal typically refers to someone who has left their home and rejected their family's or maybe their own personal values; and with reckless behavior, wastes their resources, talents and opportunities they have been given, and fail to achieve what might have been. While you may not have left home and become a "prodigal" it is very possible you know someone who has, or you may know a person someday. Caring for a friend or family member who has turned their back on the faith of their family or their own is an act of compassion, empathy and kindness. Your support, guidance and prayer for them can have a significant impact on their life and the lives of those around them. Leaving the Faith of Their Fathers – Part 2 Written by Bob Russell, December 4, 2022 (Posted with Bob's permission) In the first of this three-part series, I expressed concern about the spiritual defection of many youths who grew up in the church. Christian parents and grandparents grieve over children who no longer share their Biblical values. They are not only troubled about their child’s salvation, but the opposing worldviews hinder meaningful relationships. As a result, parents can no longer talk with children about life’s most critical issues without tension or being accused of “nagging.” In next week’s post, I will suggest some ways to respond to prodigals and how parents can avoid making the same mistake with the next generation. However, in this post, I will offer some reasons why so many are forsaking the faith. The first step to correcting a problem is to identify the problem. The second step is to determine the cause. Until a disease is diagnosed correctly, it is difficult to prescribe an effective cure. Parents are partially to blame. Proverbs 22:6 assures us, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (King James Version). The second half of that verse is more of a guiding principle rather than an absolute promise. It is not uncommon for two children to grow up in the same home, and one remains loyal to the Lord while the other grows spiritually defiant. Same parents, same upbringing, but dramatically different outcomes. When children are properly guided, they are likely to remain faithful to the Lord, but not always. When a child rebels, most Christian parents overstate their own failures and ruminate over what went wrong. “We should have been more consistent, more intentional, more tolerant, or more strict.” Perhaps so. Yet even the best parents make mistakes. Perhaps parents’ most common and egregious blunder is to relegate the training of Biblical values to others. The Scripture instructs parents to teach God’s word to their children. “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” ( Deuteronomy 6:7 ). Biblical training is meant to be a daily priority backed up with a positive parental example, not merely thirty-minute sessions at church once per week. The church is partially to blame as well. While many churches are doing great things to reach the lost, many others are so focused on reaching the “seeker” that they have neglected to train children to survive in an increasingly spiritually hostile environment. Many church youth programs are designed to entertain or “keep attention” rather than teaching and applying Scripture. The Bible says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” yet out of concern for the seeker, there is rarely discussion of the penalty of sin or Hell. As a result, we have raised a generation with “No fear of God before their eyes” ( Psalm 36:1 & Romans 3:18 ). The strong influence of the secular culture is also to blame. Today’s youth are bombarded with a secular worldview. Education, news, entertainment, and advertising all promote a hedonistic philosophy where contemporary thought is deemed more relevant than the Bible. Furthermore, secular culture conditions younger generations to believe they are smarter and more advanced than their parents and grandparents, which C.S. Lewis labeled as “Chronological snobbery.” They are convinced they have nothing to learn from previous generations. The Bible teaches us to honor our parents, respect the wisdom of the elderly, and learn from history. Yet many within the younger generation scoff at the wisdom of older authority figures. We should not be shocked when our teenagers scoff at the belief that God created the world or that sex is reserved for marriage only. Those convictions were nearly universal years ago, yet now they seem archaic and even hateful to the child’s reprogrammed mind. Our children are conditioned by the adversary to instinctively reject the idea of divinely revealed, absolute truth. The sinful nature of every child is mostly to blame. It is not easy for parents to accept that no matter how compliant or spiritual their child appears, everyone has a sinful nature that gravitates to carnality, conformity, and indifference. Jesus said, “This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed” ( John 3:19-20 ). The Bible says that Satan “invents ways of doing evil.” He skillfully entices good kids with exciting but lethal temptations, and many over-trusting parents are oblivious to it. Prodigals often claim intellectual doubt, yet the primary source of their doubt is not cerebral. It is moral. They first yield to the intoxicating temptations of the flesh and then seek to justify their immoral behavior with accusations against God. Jesus warned in the last days, “Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.” ( Matthew 24:12 ). Godly parents express frustration that nothing seems to work, no matter how much apologetic evidence they offer to counter their child’s unbelief. That is mainly because it is not really a rational issue for the prodigal. Rather, it is a heart issue. As social theorist Stuart Chase put it, “For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible.” Family arguments end in a stalemate because “The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit” ( 1 Corinthians 2:14 ). What is most needed is a conviction about their spiritual rebellion and to repent of their sin. Jesus’ first message was: “Repent and believe the good news.” ( Mark 1:15 ). And, “…unless you repent, you too will all perish” ( Luke 13:3 ). So how can we soften hard hearts and facilitate genuine repentance? That does not come easily. I will suggest some courses of action next week in the final post of this series. “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” ( 3 John 4 ).
Post #2305004 Author: Bob Russell, former Senior Pastor of Southeast Christian Church Posted: May 15, 2023 This post is the first of four written by Bob Russell that comes from his heart to the young people who have left their faith in Jesus and turned instead to what the world offers. Before you read this post I want to make sure there is understanding of the description of a “prodigal.” The term prodigal typically refers to someone who has left their home and rejected their family's or maybe their own personal values; and with reckless behavior, wastes their resources, talents and opportunities they have been given, and fail to achieve what might have been. While you may not have left home and become a "prodigal" it is very possible you know someone who has, or you may know a person someday. Caring for a friend or family member who has turned their back on the faith of their family or their own is an act of compassion, empathy and kindness. Your support, guidance and prayer for them can have a significant impact on their life and the lives of those around them. Leaving the Faith of Their Fathers - Part 1 Written by Bob Russell, November 27, 2022 (Posted with Bob's permission) Recently, I have encountered many Godly parents who are heartbroken that their children have shunned Christianity. Although these prodigal kids were raised in Christian homes and attended church regularly, their upbringing was not perfect — no home is. Yet they had many spiritual advantages: their parents set a positive example, they were taught the Bible at home and church, they learned how to pray and honor God, and some had a Christian education. However, once they left home as young adults, they quit attending church, indulged in worldly activities, and embraced the secular worldview. They began to doubt the truth of the Bible and question their parent’s concept of God. "How can I believe in a God who would condemn anyone to hell for doing what comes naturally?" "How could I believe in a God who insists there is only one way to salvation?" Christian parents and grandparents are crushed when they watch the children they love reject their faith and embrace a secular worldview. After hearing me preach in North Carolina recently, a couple tearfully approached me, saying, “We’re so concerned the Lord will return for His church, and our own grandchildren are not going to be included in the coming kingdom! What can we do to help restore them to a relationship with Jesus? Would you pray for them?” Why are so many youths rejecting the faith of their childhood? They are certainly not the first to do so. The Old Testament is full of examples of Godly parents whose children went spiritually AWOL and disappointed them. Isaac, Jacob, Manoah, Eli, Samuel, David, and Solomon all experienced the heartache of children who rebelled spiritually. One of Jesus’ best-known parables is the story of the prodigal son who defiantly left home and squandered his father’s wealth. Unfortunately, spiritual defection seems to be on the increase. Jesus alerted us this would be the case in the last days. He warned, “Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold” (Matthew 24:12). I think we are seeing the fulfillment of that prophecy. The first step in solving a problem is identifying the problem. Unfortunately, I believe a significant factor in recent decades has been churches’ emphasis on attracting the “seeker” while neglecting the discipleship and training of those within the church – especially our children. The Bible directs us to impress our children with God’s commands (Deuteronomy 6:7) and raise them “in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Many Christian leaders should honestly evaluate their efforts and recognize it is making their congregations Biblically illiterate. Over the next two weeks, my blog posts will further discuss the cause of church defections and suggest some corrections that churches and families should make. I will also offer suggestions for reclaiming those who have fallen away. In the meantime, pray for wisdom for concerned parents and pray their children will remain faithful. May their circle be unbroken. “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 4).
Post #2305003 Author: Robert Ott Posted: May 8, 2023 “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31 NLT) He [Satan] was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44b NIV) One of the things my mom loved to do was visit the “shut-ins” from our church. That’s what the people called those who lived in nursing homes or other places where they were confined for various physical, emotional, or mental impairment reasons. While the term may not have been the most loving, mom’s heart was in the right place. She would very often take me with her on those visits. I assumed she was trying to teach me how to be loving to them. The problem was they scared me. I was quite young and impressionable. I didn’t like the strong smell of urine which was pervasive in their lodgings. They oftentimes would holler at me to get me to come closer to them. There were some who had dramatic physical impairments resulting in spastic motions and speech. Sometimes they would reach out to grab me as mom and I walked by, with me holding tightly to her hand. When we would leave the nursing homes mom would always express how blessed and thankful she felt after visiting them. She felt love for them. I would always listen and not say anything because I didn’t want to come across as unloving and be a disappointment to her. But one day when she asked me how I felt, I gathered the courage to tell her that I didn’t like going, didn’t like the urine smell, and the people scared me. Her immediate response was: “Bobby, you shouldn’t feel that way,” and then proceeded to tell me how much Jesus loved them. This same scenario repeated itself many times. After each visit she would ask if I felt any different. It didn’t take long for me to start lying and tell her that I did. I wanted to please her and Jesus. Subtly and over time a message planted itself in my mind. The message became stronger and I began to believe that my feeling of fear instead of love meant there was something wrong with me. I felt guilty. These negative feelings took root then flourished and I accepted them as being true: I was no t loving; I was not compassionate and I disappointed mom; Jesus did not like me; I was not a good person; and I sinned . Seem too drastic? Not if you knew the long-term impact these toxic messages had on my life. The seemingly innocuous words received as truth set in motion complicated tangents within me. The truth is they were lies. Psychologists Kristen Zolten M.A. and Nicholas Long Ph.D. have shown from their studies that children begin to form ideas about themselves based on how their parents communicate with them ( Parental Communication 1997, 2006; Department of Pediatrics, University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences ). Mom didn’t intend to be cruel to me. She didn’t intentionally lie. She really was trying to teach me how to be a loving person to others. But she did it in the wrong way and, unfortunately, she didn’t have a real pulse on my impressionable mind and sensitive personality. There is another way that lies have powerful, long-lasting, toxic impacts on our lives. The belief that one has caused pain or harm to another person and bears responsibility for it, is an example. There is a scene in the film series The Chosen by Dallas Jenkins where Jesus and his disciples are walking through a field in Samaria, when suddenly they see a man in the distance, slowly hobbling towards them. When they meet and after some strained conversation, Jesus announces that he and his disciples are going to eat their evening meal with him and his family. The man immediately begins to explain to Jesus that it is impossible because he and his family have no food for themselves and especially none to share with others. They are totally destitute and have been for years, with no hope of anything better in the future. But Jesus is not to be put off. He has brought the food with him. After they finished their meal, Jesus casually points to the man’s broken leg and softly asks, “What’s the story?” “I fell off a horse,” he replied. Jesus says, “Tell me your story.” With tears in his eyes the man hauntingly looks around at the disciples who are watching him, and he ponders warily. Then he looks into the eyes of Jesus and begins to tell his story. There was a famine in the land and he couldn’t feed his family. They were starving. He had looked at his wife and daughter and saw the hunger and fear in their eyes. He could see the ribs of his daughter through her skin. His wife’s eyes had turned grey. They had run out of food and money. In desperation he left and went to the road that ran from Jericho to Jerusalem where he hid and waited. Eventually a Jew who was traveling alone came along. He jumped him and took all of his money and all of his clothes. But the Jew fought back. In the struggle the Jew was knocked down and hit his head on a rock. The man thought he was probably dead. He quickly mounted the Jew’s horse to take it to be sold at a Roman outpost. But he wasn’t on the horse more than ten minutes when she reared up and through him off. His leg was broken and he and his family ended up worse than they were before. “Now you know the kind of man I am,” he told Jesus. “Every day I think about that Jew lying naked on the road possibly dead. I could be a murderer.” Jesus very softly says as he looks at him through tear-filled eyes, “He didn’t die. Someone came along and helped him.” As the man weeps and looks at Jesus in astonishment he asks, “How do you know?” Jesus slowly nodding his head says, “I know. I promise you . . he did not die.” The scene ends in silence. The man stares down at the floor with tears streaming down his cheeks. Our beliefs about ourselves are closely tied to our sense of purpose, meaning, and connection to something greater than ourselves. Believing lies about ourselves can have significant negative impact on our mental, emotional, physical and even spiritual well-being: Self-esteem : Feeling inadequate, inferior, having low self-worth, lacking confidence and fear of trying new things; Anxiety and depression : Believing we are not good enough, worrying about failing and being judged by others, feeling hopeless and powerless to change our situation; Self-sabotage : Avoiding challenging opportunities, believing we will fail, engaging in unhealthy habits or relationships, believing we do not deserve better; Physical health : Chronic stress leading to headaches, stomachaches, muscle tension, heart disease and other chronic health conditions; Loss of meaning and purpose : Believing we have nothing to offer the world, unworthy of love, spiritually empty; Loss of connection with others : Believing we are not good enough and fundamentally flawed, struggling to form close relationships or trusting others; Loss of inner peace and contentment : Constantly battling negative self-beliefs, difficulty finding a sense of inner calmness and stillness, being tension filled. Loss of connection with God : Feeling unworthy of love or forgiveness, struggling to connect with a loving, compassionate God, spiritually alienated from Him; Oh, the toxic lies we accept as truth. They torment us, sometimes years, sometimes decades. They poison, and can slowly kill. Satan loves darkness, isolation, and secrets. He knows that if he can isolate us and fill our minds with his dark thoughts and convince us to keep them secret, he can win the battle, trying to destroy us. Let’s circle back to the story of me believing the lies and false messages about myself. My wife and I were on a flight to Jacksonville, Florida and I was reading a book entitled The Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson. It is Anderson’s premise that we as Christ followers do not have to live a life of bondage to an emotional and spiritual prison resulting from life’s stresses, trials, and lies. I reached a section of the book that prompted me to suddenly think about the negative and debilitating beliefs that I am not compassionate and that I don’t like people . I suddenly stopped cold. I thought for a moment and looked up. I turned to my wife and asked, “You know those messages I’ve heard and believed all my life from mom, that I am not compassionate and I think I’m better than other people? They are the DEVIL’S LIES from the PIT OF HELL. I am compassionate. I do like people. I just don’t show it in the way she does. That breakthrough realization began a long journey of discovery of truth about myself. And it is still going on today some thirty years later. I will never forget that moment on the flight to Jacksonville. Suddenly, the Holy Spirit of Jesus broke through to me and began “the good work within” me. It has been hard, painful, long, sometimes frustrating and confusing. But I am no longer in the prison of those LIES. I am FREE from them. By abiding in God’s Word, and being open to what the Holy Spirit of Jesus reveals, you can also be finished with those LIES you’ve lived with for so long, and can make room for the One who speaks only truth over His children. And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (Philippians 1:6 NLT)